Even if you hit the in-law lottery and win a stellar set of bonus-parents, it's not always easy to get on their good side (even if you're the most charming person in the world, which we know you are). So instead of shying away from hanging out with them, try jumping in and making an amazing impression. Here's how:
Bring a Special Dish
This 9 x 13-inch offering the next time you're invited over is your clever token of gratitude. It shows you appreciate how much effort they put into hosting dinner. Aren't you a peach! The real truth is you've guaranteed there's something digestible on the table.
Embrace Their Weird Habits
Their thermostat never rises above 60 degrees, they eat dinner at 5:30 p.m., and the whole gang gathers around the TV whenever there's a M*A*S*H marathon. Whatever you do, don't whine, or you'll look super high-maintenance. Solution: Bring a turtleneck, Powerbars, and an iPod shuffle to weather the storm, and you'll be golden.
Accept Gifts Strategically
No, you can't immediately go on eBay and list the 3-foot-tall, electric-pink Easter bunny his mother gave you because they'll just look for it on their next visit to your place...unless you conveniently tell them that you love the gift so much that you brought it to work (wink, wink).
Throw the Family Pet a Bone
Nobody seems to mind that your man's family dog isn't house-trained and bites. But insult Thor at your own risk! The way to their hearts is through their best friend. So bring along pet toys. You may even avoid getting tooth marks in your leg.
Silence Your Inner Cruise Director
Recommending cutting-edge novels, restaurants, or movies to his parents in the same way you would to your own family can be risky. Sometimes, it's best to be bland, boring, and unopinionated—for once. The more you get 'em talking about their own favorite things, the faster they'll warm up to you.
>>> Got in-law issues?
>>> In-law invasion stories
>>> Handle his mother!
-- Dina Koutas Poch
See More: Couple Issues , Family & In-Laws , Love & Sex
61424973 
CL3542
These "family articles" are so shallow and superficial. These people are more than your in-laws, they are your new family. Whatever weird and quirky things they did, it led to raising a son that you love and have chosen to spend the rest of your life with. Pretending to be something or not will never get them to appreciate who you are, and faking things that their gatherings will never get you to appreciate who they are. Find out what they like (other than MASH). Do his little cousins like sports? Show a little support and pop in on a soccer game! Being accepting of each other is so much more pleasant than just tolerating each other. I'm Jewish and my new family is almost entirely Catholic. So I held a family seder with the new fam at Passover and adapted the service for our multi-faith family. I was SO surprised at how receptive they all were to the whole event. It showed them something that was important to me, and helped them understand who I am and where I come from. It was so rewarding and they are all already looking forward to next year's seder.
60753852 
meliboo315
anichols@ne.rr.com- It is RARE for there to be a mother-in-law like you. Most of us get stuck with bad ones. I think this site is just trying to make those of us who got the short end of the stick feel better and be armed with whatever can get us through the night :)
60111827 
sherry831
I have been pretty blessed with only ONE In-Law. Yep, that's all. Just one....His mother My husband is an only child, and the rest of his "family" who has not seen in 12 years are still back in Siberia. I have it really easy....I feel bad for my husband. I have the obnoxious family who gives cheesy gifts and never turns the heat or air on. Ever. In laws are not that bad. Or at least for me.
59925331 
anichols@ne.rr.com
I am the mother-in-law and i resent the "her or me" attitude of your site. I see my daughter-in-law as a member of my family... someone to get to know and love . I treat her as i would my own daughter, and respect her relationship with her husband! (My son!) As i told her, I do not want to be his wife and you do not want to be his mother! There is pl;enty of room in his life for both of us. We have entirely different roles and hers comes first. He would not be a good husband if it didn't .
59638634 
Andrea2536
My in-laws really did give me bald eagle bookends once!!!! I get the strangest gifts from them. How odd that that particular one was mentioned in this article.
58183359 
I want to look fabulous on my wedding day
If you are blessed to have good inlaws, please count yourself as blessed. I never knew that inlaws could actually be bad until I met my husband because all my grandparents love and hang out with one another (they live in the same town). However my DH's mom is a very unhappy person and tries to bring everyone down with her. The sad thing is that she really likes be but everytime she gets in her mood (to which she takes medication for) she actually tries to sabatoge our marriage by telling lies to me or my husband, stirring up the past, etc. Boundaries don't work because we aren't the kind of people to shut a parent out. The best thing you can do is focus on and spend the majority of your time with the people who do love you and like to spend time with you. That's why we spend a lot of time with the DH's dad (his parents are divorced) because the father in law and step mother in law are fabulous!
58066328 
mvk
i think "pretending" is the worst you can do. people will either like you or not. there is however a difference between being yourself openly and being rude. in not way is it ever ok to be rude, obnoxious, snobby, or mean. inlaws are not the enemy and i have blessed to have wonderful inlaws. although my m.i.l. is rude and annoying at times herself, when that happens i simply walk away and not become a part of her gossiping or making jokes about HER inlaws. above all though, be polite and grateful.
58066195 mvk
i think "pretending" is the worst you can do. people will either like you or not. there is however a difference between being yourself openly and being rude. in not way is it ever ok to be rude, obnoxious, snobby, or mean. inlaws are not the enemy and i have blessed to have wonderful inlaws. although my m.i.l. is rude and annoying at times herself, when that happens i simply walk away and not become a part of her gossiping or making jokes about HER inlaws. above all though, be polite and grateful.
57554015 
csf775
Why are the inlaws always the enemy? It works out a lot better if you actually CARE about getting along with them.
57356106 
montvamj
Yes but what about sharing YOUR personality? If you always roll over and do whatever they're doing, you're bound to feel resentful at some point. My personality has helped to make my DH's family actually share their feelings more in a family that rarely spoke with each other. I think this article makes it sound like you need to be someone you make not necessarily be which I don't agree with.
57355632 
MrsJoeMFreeman4
Offer to help in the kitchen. Use "I" language and don't start gossipping if one of them wants to start complaining about another family member. In fact, listen, but then find a way to lighten the mood and change the subject! My mother-in-law thought I was the greatest thing since sliced bread just for listening to how unappreciated she felt at one family event.One time, when she was down on herself, I brought flowers to a family event. My brother-in-law called me a brown noser, but the matriarch is all that matters to me!
56876005 
pink for no three
Just do what I did live far away from both familys then spend a quiet holiday just the two of you. With our jobs we don't have time to travel around holidays.