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Help Me Survive Your Kid’s Birthday Party

Even though you may not be thinking babies yet, chances are you’ve gotten invited to your share of friends’ birthday bashes for their little ones. Here our our biggest pee-wee party gripes and how to make things easier on the kid-free guests.

42% of Nesties say going to loud, child-packed party spaces drives them insane!

  • Give us some child-free wıngmen (and women)
    Take pity on the people who don’t speak baby talk, and please include others of our kind at the party. Then we at least have a conversation buddy when everyone else is talking potty training.

  • Please, no guıtar-playıng clowns
    “Hello everybody! So glad to see you! Hello to Alex! So glad to see you! Hello to Sydney! So glad to see you!” Now imagine listening to that same verse 15 times in a row for every tot in the room. It’s okay for parents to stomach because they’re used to singing these bizarre songs, but for the rest of us, it’s simply painful.
  • Allow us a deserved tıme-out
    If you’re not a parent and you find yourself surrounded by balloons and odd magicians, you’ll need time-outs as much as the kids do. So cut us some slack and turn on the game in another room nearby so we can pop our heads in to check on the score. Even better: Offer booze in that room too.
  • Spare us from gıft overload
    Insisting the kid-free set stay for the present-opening part is like being sent into the penalty box just as your team is going into overtime. Why? Because we’re not ogling Dora dolls and baby cell phones like the other parents. Let us finish our cake and slip out the door. Hey, we brought a good gift too; cut us some slack!
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-- Adam C. Dub

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