This weekend I had one of those bare-all airplane conversations -- you know, those ones where somehow you end up spilling your whole life story to the stranger sitting next to you? I found myself talking to this ex-male-model-turned-financial-type and I couldn't help but be in awe of his life story.
He's seen the world and seemingly done it all. But as I listened to him talk about his current love life (he's married with a newborn and a few kids not quite in their teens), I couldn't help but feel a little bad for the guy. You see his wife, let's call her Kate (don't worry I'm changing all the details), has hardly worked a day in her life. She spends her days at home with the kids, goes to the gym, the spa, etc. (while they're in school or daycare).
As he was telling me about his life, he explained how he worked his way up in his company while still making it home each night to give his kid a bath and spend quality time with the family. So what's wrong with the marriage you might ask? He can't stand that his wife spends her time blowing his money -- okay, that came out wrong, but he feels he does so much for the family and she does little to pitch in. He still helps with chores (like laundry), so it's not like she takes care of everything around the house and with the kids. The kicker for him? She feels like she has sacrificed for the marriage.
Now guys, this makes me stop for a second. It's not like she left a job to raise a family, or moved cities to be with him (which he did). So what has she sacrificed, my friends? Not her body -- she manages to work out every day (Holly certainly doesn't, but I love her for her devotion to her writing). Not her social life. So what?
When I asked why his view of her had changed it seemed like he was disappointed that despite the fact that she was married, with kids, she was constantly becoming more vain. She didn't used to wear makeup or do her hair and now she's obsessed with her body image. How had things changed so drastically over just a few years? Sure as women age, I'm sure they are more devoted to keeping themselves fit and appealing to their husbands, but at what cost?
I can't imagine being in his shoes -- Holly and I are so devoted to our work that neither of us could imagine just staying at home every day. Personally I'd be bored!
So what about you guys, any advice for my anonymous seatmate? How should he handle this situation without getting into trouble -- if there is a way? Joe mentioned that Kate regrets not going to law school, I say, what better time to try again than now?