I hate the gym. I find it boring and the crowd is usually a little too 'Ed Hardy' for me. I do like to exercise, though. So when Stephanie recently gave me a gym membership for Christmas, I was leery at first. But when I realized it’s for a particular gym that happens to have a lap-swimming pool (rare in NYC), I got psyched.
Dave has this nickname that he uses to describe me at any point before 10am. I'm "Morning Stef". It's because I'm incredibly cheery, bubbly, smilely and ready to conquer the day. Ninety-nine percent of the time I'm cheery and laughing. When I'm not, I'm anxious or panicking about things that are typically out of our control: job, money, the future. I've suffered from panic attacks and tend to overreact.Thankfully, Dave is incredibly patient (to an extent) and helps me through it.
I came home from my first day at my new gym and Stef greeted me with, "How was it? Did you do abs?” “Um, no. But it was good. I swam and took a spin class.” After the second day, I entered my apartment after another work out to find Stef standing there. "Dinner's almost ready. Did you work on abs today?" I'm sensing a theme here. Apparently, I have flabs.
The fact that Dave's pulse is that of a comatose patient definitely has its disadvantages at times, especially when I am running around, worried about what's next on the agenda and trying to please everyone. He's more a graduate of the "It's all good" school. I'll never forget the one time when my dog ran into the street near my parents house and I went berserk because Dave sat there for one too many seconds before reacting and finally running after my pup, who was fine, but a little hustle please!
Stef runs marathons and works out about five days a week. That's just not me. She literally gets home from Barry's Boot Camp before I wake up. But instead of nagging me to exercise more and complaining that I'm an XL and not an L (which she had done earlier in our relationship), she went out and got me a gym membership, and specifically, to a gym I would enjoy. I like that.
While his lack of 'umph' gets to me, he has helped me to calm down a little. I often sit at home stressing about what my next career move will be.That's when Dave reminds me that getting to the #1 TV market at 27 is pretty good. No, great.
There is a fine line between being content and being driven. You don't want to be content to the point that you’re always satisfied with what you have and don't strive for more as an individual or as a couple. You also don't want to be too anxious, to the point where you don't take the time to appreciate and enjoy all that you have and act envious of those with more. Or furthermore, let it cause huge fights.
Who is the "motivator" in your relationship? Who is the "It's all good" one? Does it result in positive adjustments or all-out war?
Stephanie Tsoflias is a reporter for WPIX in New York City. You can follow her on Facebook and Twitter (@lifeofareporter). Dave Siegel is a writer and stand-up comedian in New York City. Visit his website, DaveSiegel.com, and follow him on Twitter (@StandUpDave).