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We Got Into a Fight Over a Gift.

Yes, a gift.

Stephanie and I have had fights over inappropriate Facebook comments, Valentine's Day plans and countless other paramount events. But one curveball that I definitely did not see coming spawned from my simple “mistake” of telling Stephanie that I wanted to buy her a gift. That's right -- a gift! No good deed....

September 16 marked two years that Dave and I have been together. That’s two anniversaries, two Christmases, two birthdays (well, four) and other countless holidays and celebratory occasions. To date, I’ve gotten two tangible gifts. I’ll spare you the daunting details; let’s just say I’m not always a happy camper.

I’m the first to admit that I have some unorthodox views regarding gifting. I know this is sacrilegious to say to the readers of The Knot and The Nest, but -- I think wedding registries are disgusting! I just don’t understand them. We may not be married, but when I told Stephanie that I wanted to buy her a gift for an unsolicited favor she’d done for me, she basically gave me her registry by saying, “Great, you can go to this costume jewelry store I love.”

This sounds bad, but when Dave told me he wanted to buy me something, I made a mental list of things I wanted. Okay, I’m lying: I had actually written down some of the gifts I would love to receive, in case one day he decided to listen. I didn’t make a demand, mind you -- just a mere suggestion for him to check out this jewelry designer that I loved. They have special pieces that I wouldn’t buy for myself, so why not tell him?

Was it really so wrong to say, “I'd rather just get you something on my own”? I could tell we were entering tenacious waters, so I followed up with, “Okay, but that's not really what I think gift giving is about. I want to run around the city looking for the right gift. I want to find something that I pick out that I think you’d like.”

When I get Dave gifts, I go out with a list of things he’s mentioned saying he wants. Pants, Starbucks card, new running shorts. If I ran around New York searching for something else, I’d just be wasting time and possibly getting him something he won’t like. I just don’t think it’s worth the possible disappointment. Giving your significant other something you know they want is special!

She never saw my side. So guess what? I never bought her a gift. Gentlemen (all three of you reading this): Next time it crosses your mind to get your girl a gift, just keep your mouth shut and go out and get it. Don't mention you’re thinking about possibly getting her a gift. Trust me.

I've come to terms with the fact that Dave will never get me anything that's on my list. So in the future, should I just let him do his thing -- or should I make a better case for my wish list?


Stephanie Tsoflias is a reporter for WPIX in New York City. You can follow her on Facebook and Twitter (@lifeofareporter). Dave Siegel is a standup comedian and writer in New York City. You can see a list of his upcoming performances at DaveSiegel.com and follow him on Twitter (@StandUpDave).