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Gay Wedding Etiquette

Still celebrating the recent legalization in NY? Here are some bossy rules.

Gawker has a great gay marriage etiquette post up today that includes tips on everything from proposals to walking down the aisle. I love it! And of course, I have some of my own tips to add to the convo. But first, let me say that I am so proud to be a New Yorker right now. The gay marriage bill was long overdue, and I'm absolutely thrilled that it finally passed. I've attended two gay weddings, both in cities where it was legal, and each time I thought, New York is really missing the boat. Not to get too dollars-and-cents here, but weddings are a huge business, and I thought it was tragic and dumb that we (all New Yorkers) were traveling to neighboring states to spend tens of thousands of dollars when we could've been dumping that cash closer to home.

Anyway, now it's legal, and hopefully NYC will become a top gay marriage destination. So naturally, it's time to get bossy about behavior. Yippee! Gawker has some good suggestions, but the one I agree with most talks about throwing separate bachelor/bachelorette parties. Now, both of the gay weddings I've been to were between women, and the bachelorette parties that these ladies threw were totally amazeballs. Each bride invited her personal posse to her own bachelorette party. One bride threw an old-fashioned speakeasy-themed party, complete with poker tables, burlesque dancers and cigars. The other threw a roller-derby disco party that was off-the-hook fashion-wise. I think it's key to party separately. The whole point is to have a night out with friends without your soon-to-be spouse. Sure, these days it's understood that your nights out with friends aren't exactly over just because you're getting hitched (one hopes), but I can say from experience that they're likely to be fewer and farther between. So get your skate on while you're still young and single, yo!

Anyway, my whole point is this: Resist the urge to make everything so together-y. Let loose solo. Just because you're the same sex doesn't mean you're two of the exact same people. Embrace your individual quirks and tastes that set you apart from your soon-to-be-spouse. Find a way to do some of the stuff that you love but he/she doesn't during your (so-called) last night of freedom.

Do you guys have any gay wedding etiquette tips you'd like to share? Be forewarned, anything hateful is likely to be deleted. Just saying. Let's keep it a love-in.

-- Holly

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