I always knew I wanted to get married. That doesn’t mean I didn’t kiss a bunch of toads that I knew were bad news – and enjoy every agonizing minute of it. That’s a rite of passage, right? Getting the whole bad-boy thing out of your system so you can move on to healthier -- albeit less andrenaline-inducing -- relationships.
Don’t get me wrong: Jack and I have our fair share of thrills (I routinely wake up with bruises and don’t even remember having had rough sex. Kinky, right??). But when you’re married, you just don’t feel the need to have those “will he call me?!” types of freakouts just to get your rocks off.
So what’s that bad-boy thing really about, anyway? Why do we respond to that sh&t to begin with? The feminist site Jezebel recently published a piece suggesting that Kermit the Frog is the original unavailable, aloof boyfriend (all he wants to do is strum his banjo and hang out with his bros all day) -- and Piggy is the original badass bitch who can’t seem to get her little pig knuckles off of him. If most of us are looking for men to commit, why are we so drawn to the frogs that won’t? More importantly, how -- and when -- do we decide we’ve had enough of this charade?
I knew that Jack was the one when weird, serendipitous things started to happen when we were together (and also because I had a massive crush on him -- the killer abs helped). Before I was married, friends told me that when you meet “the one,” you know because all of those feelings that were driving you before -- lust, uncertainty, anxiety -- are no longer there, and you’re happier that way. Precisely the things that had turned me on in the past were barely present in Jack, and I thought: This totally available, mostly reliable, often predictable man? He’s the love of my life. Morning breath, socks on the floor – that’s what I want for the rest of my life, as long as it’s with him (I draw the line at farting). And that’s the most exciting happy ending I can think of.
Ladies: Describe for me the moment you knew that your frog was a prince in disguise. Be specific!!
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