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A Man's Take on Emotional Affairs

If you are in love with someone other than your spouse, are you a cheater?

Holly just sent me this thread from discussing what to do if a spouse has an "emotional affair." First of all, I find the term “emotional affair” to be pretty confusing. I mean, is it, or isn’t it, an affair? If it is an affair, then how about we just call it an affair? If it's not an affair at all, then let's find a whole new name for it. You follow?

Anyway...the prevailing thought seems to be that most men aren't bothered by so-called emotional affairs -- that if our wives or girlfriends had a relationship that never became physical, we wouldn't be particularly angry or upset about it. But I'm not so sure about that. The idea that Holly could be fantasizing or flat-out in love with another man while married to me is not something I'd shrug off. But honestly, for something like that to ever happen, a lot would have to go wrong in our marriage first. I know that might sound smug or delusional, but just on a purely logistical level, Holly and I stay so current with each other that if one of us were to make a new friend of the opposite sex, and started spending time with them, it would get spotted and discussed (to death) long before it had a chance to get to a toxic level.

What do you guys think? Have any of you ever had to deal with the whole emotional affair thing?

-- Jack

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