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My Married Life: The First Rule About Fart Club Is Don't Talk About Fart Club

There are two kinds of marriages: those with farting, and those without. After much deliberation (that's a joke people!) I happen to have opted for the latter. Call me kooky.

Strangely, when friends hear this, they often say that they think it's "really unhealthy" as if Jack (my husband) and I have each been clenching 24/7 since the moment we met. Or, as if not ripping f-bombs in front of each other all the live-long day were somehow less than honest. I couldn't disagree more. It's not like I'm not being myself. I'm just not being the grossest possible version of myself. Is that so wrong? I mean, is farting in front of each other or peeing with the door open (also a no-go in our house) really a sign of love and affection? Pretty much the last thing I think after Jack smells up the bathroom is, Mmm, sexy.

When it comes to bathroom habits and the like, I say familiarity breeds contempt. What do you say?

-- Holly

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