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My Married Life: What I Knew About Holly After 30 Days of Dating

How much can you know about a person after only one month of dating? Enough to marry them? Enough for a lifetime commitment? I say no, but then again, I view marriage as a forever thing, unlike some people (cough, Khloe Kardashian, cough).

Personally, I still needed a lot more information at the 30-day mark. There were kinks that needed to be worked out. Not so much with Holly, but with me. Sure, the foundation of the relationship was already there. And there were a lot of good signs: We were very close in age, which was cool (in the past I'd dated mostly older women), and we had the exact same color eyes, prompting people to say we looked like siblings (I could have been creeped out -- but strangely, I dug it). And when I visited her house for the first time, I spotted at least two very important CDs on her shelf, which meant she liked some of the same music as me...and the thing had a chance. Read More

Her musical taste was actually more significant than it sounds. Music is really important to me, and -- honestly -- could have been a deal breaker. I saw the CDs (and lots of other things) as evidence of a psychic bond. You will never hear me utter the words "soul mate," especially in a public forum, but the bond between us did seem to exist on a cosmic level. I remember asking a friend who had recently proposed to his girlfriend after dating her for a short time, how he had decided to take the leap. "When you know, you know," he said. In that respect, I guess I did know after that first month...after five minutes for that matter. I just needed the next six years to figure out if her whole messy closet thing was just a phase.

What do you think? When you know, you know? Or (like me) when you’re sure, you’re sure (even if that takes you six years)?

-- Jack

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