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My Married Life: Ignorant (Conversation) Is Not Bliss

For those of you who suck at small talk -- listen up! According to The New York Times, a new study out of the University of Arizona claims that people who have deeper discussions are happier that those who keep the chit-chat ultra-light (think: sports scores or weather). Though I’m not totally convinced that the study actually proved its premise, I will say that it backs up the way Jack and I “do” our marriage. Which is to say: We go there. Like all the time.

Whatever the big, hulking elephant-in-the-room convo might be, we dissect it, examine it, and present it to each other along with pie graphs representing our various feelings. I’m not gonna lie -- it’s exhausting. But it ain't small talk, baby. I’ve always been the type of person who just cuts to the chase and speak/blurts her particular truth. I have a really hard time saying “fine” when someone asks how I’m doing (something I’m working on).

If there’s one person who sucks more at small talk than me, it’s Jack. He’s forever the guy in the corner, deep in heavy conversation during a party. Long ago, I stopped nagging him to mingle, realizing that this was what Jack having fun at a party looked like. So Jack and I are the rare duo who is actually working our way toward more small talk (but hey, we started from zero).

What about you? Do people like me (who would rather have a heated debate than utter the words, “That’s nice”) drive you crazy? Or are you equally small-talk challenged?

-- Holly

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