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My Married Life: I've Become That Guy

Lately, I’ve found myself trying to resist the urge to become the guy I never wanted to be...the guy I’ve always made fun of. Wondering what I’m talking about? Let’s review the stats. I’m in my 30’s. I’m married. We’ve got a cute little dog (little is key). I recently bought a fully loaded iMac (my first nonjanky PC). Holly and I just moved to a neighborhood that is the epicenter of upwardly mobile, liberal, breeder hell. The kind of place that Sarah Palin would call elitist -- and that New York Magazine dubbed the best neighborhood in NYC.

Starting to see a pattern forming? I’ve greeted my first few gray hairs with an inexplicable enthusiasm. I’m thinking -- maybe full-blown adulthood is when I’ll really come into my own. I’m counting the days until my eye doctor tells me that my vision is fading so I can finally get the glasses that say, “I spend my days off chilling at home, drinking fair trade coffee and listening to NPR next to a window that allows me to watch the progress of the herb garden I planted on our fire escape.”  I’ve already copped to browsing men’s fashion sites! Any minute now, I’m going to start shopping for a Subaru.

Resistance is futile.

Any other men out there who woke up and realized that they’d become the man they always mocked (and are cool with it)?

-- Jack

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