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My Married Life: Little White Lies in Marriage

In case you can't tell, I've been trolling the Internet a lot lately, looking for interesting marriage and relationship blogs. That's how I found Freak Revolution, written by a lesbian couple who bill themselves as alternative relationship counselors. I love it when I read something that changes my mind about something I thought I was already super-clear on. Two words: white lies.

Listen, I'm big on honesty. Like, rigorous honesty. Which, by the way, means telling the truth even when it's easier to lie and not sharing unnecessary details in order to unburden oneself (example: telling Mom where and how you lost your virginity). But it's funny -- Pace (the blogger who wrote the post) put two things into the category of white lies that I would not have.

1. Nodding or otherwise signaling that you're listening when you actually didn't hear everything the other person said.
2. Saying you’re cool with something when you’re really only kinda cool with it.

Now, I don't really care about #2, because I don't think every little thing needs to be hashed out -- and God knows I don't fear conflict. But #1 really got me. How many times have I glazed over when Jack was explaining something really complicated, and actually missed important details? Answer: more times than I care to mention. Truth is, I have attention problems, but have found ways to work around them when it comes to career, etc. So even though it might be irritating, I promise from here on out to stop and say, "Sorry, I missed that last part, can you repeat it?"

Here's to an even more honest 2010.

What's your policy/experience with white lies?

-- Holly

See More: Couple Issues , Love & Sex