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My Married Life: Are You Neurotic? Have More Sex

Shag your way to marriage satisfaction, says science.

If you have ever so much as perused this blog, you already know that my husband Jack and I might as well be a couple in a Woody Allen movie. In other words, we are totally neurotic. We talk everything to death and dive into in-depth analyses of things that most people wouldn't give a second thought. The thing is, we laugh a lot (like every day, and on good days, every hour), and we are really, really happy together. But from all the marital research I do, I’ve learned that ours is a rare combination. In fact, in a study published in the online journal, Social Psychological and Personality Science, researchers from the University of Tennessee found that "High levels of neuroticism are more strongly associated with bad marital outcomes than any other personality factor." Ugh! Who wants to hear that?

Luckily, the study also offered a ray of light for me and my nutty hubby. You see, the study also found that “frequent sex did improve the marital satisfaction of partners with high levels of neuroticism.” The researchers explained that neurotic marrieds tend to have a "happiness deficit" (compared to non-neurotic couples), but shagging their brains out eliminated said deficit. Pretty amazing advice, huh? My interpretation of this finding is that all that talking and agonizing can create distance (or just focus your attention on all the possible problems in your relationship), but a good old-fashioned roll-in-the-hay helps us to feel more connected and affectionate (and of course, blissed out). So I totally buy it. How about you guys?

-- Holly

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