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My Married Life: No Kids but Tons of Parenting Opinions?

On the boards last week, this Nestie posted her husband's hilarious laundry list of what I'm going to call “procreation plans.” So funny! I hate to say this because it sounds (is) so sexist, but it's usually women spouting off delusional, I-can-will-super-specific-details-about-my-future lists. Or maybe I just think that because my girlfriends are all control freaks.

Even though I've (mostly) outgrown that sort of thinking, I'm still guilty of it when it comes to kids. As in: when I see a crazy monster child, I truly believe with all of my being, that that will never be me. I will parent differently. I will not put up with a hitting, scratching demon toddler. I will not let them eat sugar. I will not park them in front of the TV. Okay, you get the picture.

But my friends with kids say that everything you think you know about kids flies out the window once you actually have them. The things you thought you could control, you find you can't (like, um, the personality of another human being). So it's confession time.

All you know-it-all non-parents out there -- what are the judgy things you're sure you know about parenting (but haven't exactly road-tested)?

-- Holly

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