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My Married Life: Philanderer Fatigue

The New York Times article titled “Spitzer’s Long Road to Redemption,” said Eliot Spitzer is making baby steps toward resuming his prescandal life. Maybe it’s because he didn’t proclaim himself a sex addict and do a well-publicized stint in rehab, but Spitzer just doesn’t bug me as much as other public cheaters. His words, from the article:

“The only thing I can try to do is contribute in a small way and not in a way that is designed to get forgiveness,” he said. “That would be too transactional: ‘I’m doing X, now you will forgive me.’ I don’t think it can or should work that way.”

Bravo, Spitz.

Anyway, I know you are probably as worn out by all this cheating nonsense as I am. So how about a quick review before we move on. What have we learned? Answer: That almost anyone, if given the perfect combo of the following, will cheat:

A.     Free time -- stretches during which no one knows where he is or what he’s doing
B.     Power -- either money, fame or (the worst) both
C.     Access -- via the number of a call girl or the advances of beautiful woman

So what can be done? First, let’s assume that these men actually love their wives, but are just (for lack of a better word) too weak to resist the powerful triangle that is a+b+c. How can infidelity be prevented? My take: We need to get over the idea that spouses can be apart for weeks (or months) at a time and that everything will be alright, because that plan seems to have worked out approximately zero times.

Now your turn -- what else have we learned, people? What else can be done to stave off cheating?

-- Holly

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