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My Married Life: What Really Turns Men's Heads

If my last post didn't set anyone's mind at ease, then maybe this will. Here's the deal: I’m around men every single day and I hear them talk about women a lot. Over and over again, listening to them has proven that sex appeal is a broad and complex thing. Far too complex to be destroyed by a mere 20 extra pounds. I have seen women of so many shapes, sizes, and colors command the attention of my male counterparts that I think it's time to throw out the entire rulebook. To think that we can reduce sex appeal to stats like waist size, height, etc., is really missing the point.

For example: One dude I work with was so hot for a chick on our team -- but I just couldn’t see the appeal. He kept saying, "She used to be a gymnast!" Like that was gonna help me see things his way. There was nothing wrong with her -- I just didn't share his enthusiasm. She was a short chick with a really, really big butt and a sunny disposition. I mean, she was cute. But something about her having been a gymnast blew his mind.

My point? There's no telling what detail will get a guy excited. But there's bound to be one. So stop assuming it's all about weight. Every woman is different -- blond, brunette, redhead -- by the time we throw in a couple of other variables, like ethnicity, breast size, wardrobe, taste in music, and a little thing called personality, the results become mind boggling.

Another time, I was standing with two guys at work -- one said that he really dug this girl (let's call her Jen). The other guy said, "Yeah, Jen's got a really slamming body, but there's something about her face that bugs me." Meanwhile, if they'd asked me, I'd have said that Jen did NOT have a good body at all -- but that she had a really beautiful face. So even from guy to guy, opinions are all over the map!

Bottom line: This is not a game to be won; it's really just about not beating yourself up for being who you are. What do you think -- is there such thing as someone being universally attractive? What traits turn you on?

-- Jack

See More: Ask a Guy , Couple Issues , Love & Sex