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My Married Life: Whisker Shrapnel, Mammoth Bars, and More

Listen, I’m not a super-clean girl, I’ll tell you that right now. I’ve got a rotten habit of leaving little piles of clothing behind me wherever I go. This habit alone has driven many a good man mad. And for his part, Jack is pretty mellow about it. But when it comes to the things that I consider to be true “dirty-dirt” (food/hair/scum/mold), I score a whole lot better on the cleanliness scale.

Sure, Jack is much tidier than me -- his clothes are always neatly tucked away, and he loves a good filing system. But for some reason, when he shaves, he doesn’t seem to notice that his sharp little beard hairs fly all over the bathroom, spearing themselves into every visible grout-line, coating the back of the sink, and giving the vanity its own five-o’clock shadow. This is an otherwise spic-and-span man. So why this nasty blind spot?

And there’s more.

He also takes the bar of soap and uses it to lather up directly ON his body. Know how I know? Because I regularly find the bar resting in its little dish, embedded with numerous curly little hairs. I know I’m not alone, because I didn’t coin the term Mammoth Bar (the hairy bar of soap that looks like a block of ice with a Woolly Mammoth encased in it) -- I just appreciate it’s genius. But in case you’re wondering, absolutely no amount of money would convince me to touch that soap.

So tell me: Are you and your partner also selectively clean (as in super tidy in one area and pretty gross in another)? Or is that just us?

-- Holly

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