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My Married Life: Why I Think Cheaters Marry

In his awesomely written piece for Salon, Aaron Traister asks “Why do cheaters  marry?”  The piece is full of great stuff -- best of all, this one from Alec Baldwin’s character in The Departed: "Marriage is an important part of getting ahead. Lets people know you're not a homo. Married guy seems more stable. People see the ring, they think at least somebody can stand the son of a bitch. Ladies see the ring, they know immediately you must have some cash or your cock must work."

Well said, Baldwin. Well said.

1. Here are a few reasons that I think cheaters marry.

2. They think true love will save them from their old behavior rather than the other way around.

3. They don’t actually identify as cheaters -- instead they see their “cheats” as isolated events.

4. They never set out to cheat but are pursued, and would have to do actual work not to cheat -- and (obviously) take the wussy way out. 

5. They are total D-bags that feel completely justified getting a little on the side. These guys tend to believe their wives are completely happy and that they  aren’t hurting anyone. Usually there’s some justification of sacrifice in another area -- i.e.,  “I bust my ass at  work so...you know.”

6. They’ve always had secret sex behavior (i.e., visited prostitutes) and have some sense that leading a double life is totally normal.


Do you guys have any theories?

-- Jack

See More: Ask a Guy , Couple Issues , Love & Sex