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Taking a Stand Against Twee

Can I get a couple "amens" from my fellow grown-ass men?

First, a definition, because honestly, even the term “twee” is annoyingly twee: Affectedly dainty or quaint; twee writing about furry little creatures. And a note about its origins: apparently reduced from tweet, mimicking a child’s pronunciation of sweet. Okay, now on with the rant….

I do not understand pop culture's current fascination with all things precious and adorable. In other words, I hate twee. I think GQ said it best with this chart. As a man, I don't get boyishness. Being a boy sucked. Now I’m a man. End of story.

Hell, extreme boyishness is half the reason I left LA (the other half being my love of Holly, who was moving to NY and asked me to bust a move). New York seemed like a place where being a grown man was encouraged, maybe even demanded. But like an idiot, I (we) quickly migrated to Brooklyn -- a place where (by the looks of it) adolescence continues well into a man's 40s. A place where you'll find married couples codesigning a line of miniature hats, where public pillow fights are scheduled months in advance (and get a great turnout), where heterosexual men don striped boatneck T-shirts and/or deep V-neck shirts.

But not I. I do not find Demetri Martin funny. I did not see (500) Days of Summer. I am largely unfamiliar with the wares of Etsy. And while I completely understand why chicks might dig these things, I have to ask: Why are grown men on board with this shidt? Why can't we all be more like Ron Swanson? (I particularly like his tips on diet and old wooden sailing ships.) Discuss.

-- Jack