Don't even bother reading this until you go here and gaze upon this brilliance. You're welcome. Next week, Holly and I will have been married for five years. Personally, I find that kind of unbelievable, because our wedding day is still fresh in my mind. The wedding itself was a lot of fun -- definitely the best party Holly and I have ever thrown. That said, there was a portion of the day I could have lived without...namely, the weird photo session/intermission thing that took place between the ceremony and the reception. I get why this is a mandatory part of every wedding -- and that every bride is focused on getting as many photographs as possible of her wedding. In fact, I know that lots of couples go much, much further than Holly and I did and basically use the wedding to live out their inner modeling fantasies. But to me, the photo shoot felt so unnatural and oddly timed. I mean, wouldn't that be a great time for a bride and groom to just hang out together in private for a few minutes and absorb what just happened? Instead, we posed for "formals" for about 30 minutes.
Now, don't get me wrong -- I'm glad that Holly and I have tons of great pictures of our wedding day. But honestly, neither of us have ever given a crap about our formal shots. They just don't reflect our personalities or remind us of particularly great moments (which our candids do). But when I saw these INSANE Russian wedding pictures, I started to rethink the entire thing. I mean, I'd probably have been willing to pose for another hour if I knew that the photographer would later Photoshop gigantic weapons into each shot, or turn Holly into a white, hawk-like creature that I was clutching in my fist. These photographs are so hilarious that they could be used as Christmas cards for the first 10 years of marriage. I love them. That is all.
Guys, how did you feel about your wedding photo sesh? Would you have dug it more if you knew your bride would later be Photoshopped to look like she was flying a pink broom overhead or chained to a wall wearing a cave-girl outfit? Me too.
See More: Love & Sex