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What Do You Do When You're Not in the Mood?

If you aren't interested in sex, do you "service" your spouse, or tell him to leave you the hell alone?

Jack's last post about Russell Brand got me thinking about the trickiness of making two different sex drives add up to one good sex life. Even if you want sex multiple times a day, there will come a time in every marriage when one of you will want it, and one of you totally won't. This chain on The boards made it clear to me that women have very different opinions on how to handle not being in the mood. To some chicks, "not in the mood" means back the eff off -- period. To others, "not in the mood" means a definite "no” to intercourse, but maybe a "yes" to oral.

Personally, I'm of the school that says a quick "service call" never hurt a girl. But there were plenty of women on the board who disagreed (to put it lightly). In their opinions, "not in the mood" means "not at all in the mood," as in, not into passing out charity blow jobs for the greater good. I don't really get that, because I think that the longer you go without sex, the longer you find you can go without it. So diving in and doing it when you aren't necessarily dying for it is the way to keep the wheels greased, so to speak. I also think that a blow job or even a good old-fashioned hand job are reasonable compromises for when you’re just too damn tired to get busy.

What do you guys think? If you aren't in the mood, should he just leave you the hell alone, or are you down for a substitute solution now and then? Does it matter if it's been awhile? What about when the shoe is on the, foot?

-- Holly

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