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Secret Reasons Married Couples Have More Sex

Find out why those who say “I do” have sex 50 percent more than their single counterparts.

Photo: Thinkstock / The Nest

You know the cliche: The husband and wife finish watching Homeland, the wife puts on her flannel pajamas and tells the husband she has a headache, and they both roll to opposite sides of the bed and fall asleep. But the statistics tell a different story. Over 85 percent of married couples in their late 20s have sex at least a few times a month, compared with 35 percent of singles, according to a survey by the Kinsey Institute. Read on for reasons why married couples get more booty.

10,000 hours
In his book Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell introduces his “10,000 hours” rule, which says that the secret to success for any task -- whether it’s tossing a baseball, writing poetry or giving orgasms -- is practice, practice and more practice. So the more you have sex, the better it is -- and now that you’re married, what better time to perfect those lovemaking skills?

No condoms
When you’re single, condoms are like the protective case on an iPhone: necessary for safety, but never as good as au naturel.“Safely ditching condoms” might be reason enough to get married.

Lust trust
The good thing about having a spouse is that they’re sort of stuck with you. So if you have some kinky idea or a lusty fantasy, you can trust them to not judge you for it -- and maybe even indulge your desires.(We’re assuming this fantasy doesn’t involve a gimp suit.)

Single sex is rarer than you’d think
Thanks to the basic psychology of “grass is always greener,” we romanticize the single lifestyle. But here’s the dirty little secret about being single: Sex is sporadic. If you’re single, it’s typically frowned upon to walk down the hall, bang on your neighbor’s door and ask if they want to screw. It takes work. Sometimes you get it; sometimes you don’t.

Our secret fears are gone
Most of us, at some level, secretly fear rejection. Even if we say (and believe) that we’re “happily single,” there’s still the question -- and therefore anxiety -- about whether our affections will be reciprocated. With marriage, poof!, this anxiety is gone. And anxiety is to sex what sobriety is to Lindsay Lohan -- the two don’t work well together.

No awkward fumbling
A secret that your single friends might not admit: First-time sex is often crummy. Sometimes it’s sloppy-drunk, sometimes it’s nervous and tentative, and sometimes it just ends, well, much too soon.

-- Jeff Wilser; the editor of groom website ThePlunge.com and the author of The Maxims of Manhood and The Man Cave Book. You can follow him on Twitter at @JeffWilser.

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