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My Wife Is Messy and I'm Always Left Cleaning Up. How Can I Talk to Her About It Without Fighting?

The Nest Love and Sex He Said She Said
First, tell her why this is important to you, and that your living situation is negatively affecting your relationship. Remember, she's not going to respond well to complaints (would you?), so explain why you're frustrated but then also have a solution or two prepared (and no, that doesn't mean setting up a chart and giving her a gold star for putting her dirty clothes in the hamper). Instead, post a list of chores on the fridge and check them off as the week goes on -- hopefully, she'll take the hint. If not, well, it might be time to hire a housekeeper!I'm going to take a wild guess and say that you knew your wife wasn't the cleanest person in the world before you married her. So here's a tip: Manage your expectations. It's one thing to expect her to load the dishwasher or pick her towels up of the bathroom floor. It's another thing to expect her to scrub the shower every morning after soaping up. If you're that bothered by her habits, talk to her about it, but also ask what things you could work on so the discussion goes both ways.


Your turn: When it comes to your marriage, who's the messy one? Do you fight about it? How do you split up the chores?

-- The Nest Editors

Jan 29, 2010

See More: Ask a Guy , Couple Issues , Cleaning & Organizing , Love & Sex , Newlywed Central

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