1. You discover pages of the Kama Sutra randomly tucked into your Us Weekly.
2. You come home to find him shirtless with a bottle of lotion in his hand, asking for help with a “back spasm.”
3. Wild Things has mysteriously been added to the first spot on your Netflix queue and The Notebook has been bumped to the bottom.
4. He keeps bringing up that time...in the bathroom...at your friend’s party -- even though it was four years ago.
5. All five pairs of your ratty flannel pajamas have suddenly disappeared.
6. He returns from the grocery store with a can of whipped cream and no Ben & Jerry’s.
7. He volunteers to clean up dinner and do the dishes so you can “conserve your energy.”
8. He finally hangs up that mirror you bought a month ago...on the ceiling.
Read More
Nesties Sound Off
What signs do Nesties give their spouses to show they’re not in the mood? Here’s what they said.
“When he tries to get playful to get me roused up, I just pat his hand and give him a courtesy laugh. He eventually rolls over.” --jacesracer
“I normally act like I’m asleep (this is usually after I’ve been lying in bed reading for an hour).” --cincyGirl1980
“If I don’t want to do it, I tell him either he’s gonna have to do the work or ‘persuade’ me.” --Beth10/16/04
“I tell him the muffin shop is closed!” --highdee
“I’ve been known to put on these really horrific but very comfortable pj’s when I’m not in the mood before he gets a chance to make a move. I think he’s either totally turned off or takes the hint.” --wrongwayec
“We went to a Brazilian steakhouse for dinner. They bring you selections of meat as long as you have the little double-sided coaster flipped to the green ‘want more’ side. When you don’t want them to bring you meat, you flip to the red ‘no, thank you’ side. I joked that I’d bring the coaster home for his nightstand.” --Heather&Allan
-- The Nest Editors
See More: Love & Sex , Sex Q&A
62314955 
mollysue84
Haha...that's awesome, rockarose...love it. I'm definitely going to use that one. Good point, jennygene...although I think the comments have been in response to the question following the article.
61143942 
jennygene
Did anybody actually read the article? it is about how men show that they want their wife to be wild in bed or do something out of ordinary. Not about how wives show their husbands if they are in the mood or not.
61139422 
Chelsealeann
I agree with akakori2...For Women Only is an amazing book, and i highly suggest it to everyone! It discusses how not being sexually available to your husband is very similar to how we feel when they are not emotionally available to us.
61130799 
rocket2japan
Having sex for men is like communication for women. They NEED it to feel close to us. What if your husband never wanted to talk to you!? If you're really not up to it, you should always be honest with him but do it in a way that respects him and doesn't make him feel rejected. If you respect him, he will love you. If you're not in the mood, tell him you'll need convincing. Sometimes life is about doing things you don't want to because you love someone. Love takes sacrifice but think about it, is giving sex to your husband really a huge sacrifice? It's for you too. Go in the bathroom and freshen up a bit so you feel more like a woman. Come on, ladies! If you give it to him at home, what reason would he have to go elsewhere? Think about it.
61130788 rocket2japan
Having sex for men is like communication for women. They NEED it to feel close to us. What if your husband never wanted to talk to you!? If you're really not up to it, you should always be honest with him but do it in a way that respects him and doesn't make him feel rejected. If you respect him, he will love you. If you're not in the mood, tell him you'll need convincing. Sometimes life is about doing things you don't want to because you love someone. Love takes sacrifice but think about it, is giving sex to your husband really a huge sacrifice? It's for you too. Go in the bathroom and freshen up a bit so you feel more like a woman. Come on, ladies! If you give it to him at home, what reason would he have to go elsewhere? Think about it.
61125303 
Swordman5000sWoman
Why would you care about signs to say you're not interested. We need a list of the ways you give your guy the high sign that you're ready to get it on. Come on ladies! Lets get real here.
61123890 
wildangel41
If he starts acting like he wants "attention" and I'm not in he mood I just tell him that I didn't shave my legs...he gets the hints.
61121477 
franie
Since my fiance and I strive to have open and honest communication with one another in everything we do, if I'm not in the mood, I tell him, if he's not in the mood, he tells me (there are other ways of dealing with the physical want by yourself). We're not saying "not tonight" because we want to hurt or put off the other, but because how we're feeling right at that moment we can't give our entire selves to one another. We both agree that we'd rather be fully involved with one another rather than half heatedly making the motions.
61120391 
Akakori2
Every girl here should read "For Woman Only"... there are more reasons then you think as to why men want sex... After reading this book, even if I am not in the mood, I force myself to act like I am... he literally NEEDS me to.
61117169 
brooklynnj
Hmm, well, he usually gets the idea if I come to bed wearing socks and my retainers.
61114394 
LuckyAngel07
When you don't want to, it's hard to bring yourself to make sure his needs are fulfilled. While it's not the most amazing sex ever, if he's really feeling horny and I'm just not interested, I'll make sure he gets what he wants, quickie-style, so I can snuggle him afterwards!
61114219 
mewascrum
Usually I just give in, he usually likes to try to get me to start something, but, if I'm not in the mood to do so he takes over. Even if I'm not in the mood in the beginning, usually I'm ok with it afterwards. It never hurts to cave in.
61112647 LuckyAngel07
When you don't want to, it's hard to bring yourself to make sure his needs are fulfilled. While it's not the most amazing sex ever, if he's really feeling horny and I'm just not interested, I'll make sure he gets what he wants, quickie-style, so I can snuggle him afterwards!
61112425 
krbtgny
One book I read before getting married said never outright refuse your husband sex unless he's asking for it while driving down the interstate. I too have said when I'm not "in the mood" that I'd need convincing. If my husband really wants it, let's just say I have no reason to complain by the end. We also will compromise on a more 'abbreviated' version during times of the month when I'm not fully available to him, we're short on time, or just tired.
61112029 
rockarose
We usually say to eachother "I am not in the mood but I may be able to be convinced". He/I either take(s) that as a challenge or says no biggie maybe tomorrow.... either way, WE BOTH WIN!!
61110765 
queenbee771
I agree with mollysue84. Be honest and tell him you are not interested or better yet, give it a try because you know it will please him. Sex is 99% mental anyway,and it shouldn't only be on the woman's terms.
61110346 mollysue84
Being condescending or acting annoyed or asleep is unnecessary and rude, and will not help your relationship. Pay him the compliment of being honest and just tell him gently but firmly that you are not in the mood or too tired, etc., and promise him a raincheck. Or just give it a try for his sake, because you love him.
61109278 
ashday
i would have to agree with Catlady303 here... even if your not in the mood... you should generally be ready to do something if he wants you to. and that goes for the men towards the women too.
61054335 
CatLady303
What? You should always make the effort to satisfy your mate. Unless you have a good excuse like bleeding during pregnancy. It really hurt to have to say "no" eventhough it was for the baby.