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Now that you're married, do you find yourself settling into a newlywed routine where you're just too busy to get busy? These tips will help you get in the love groove.
1. Talk It Out
Communication is the key to a healthy relationship -- and a healthy sex life. Don't be afraid to discuss career gripes (he works late nights); family (she wants to spend the holidays with her parents 3,000 miles away); money (juggling shared debt). If you can talk about these things, you'll spend fewer nights huffing and puffing with your backs turned to one another and more time backing each other up against the bed or fridge, huffing and puffing.
2. Get in the Mood
How can you expect to go from zero to 60 without a little warm-up? Half of enjoying nooky is knowing how to rev each other's engines first. Have a picnic in bed with fresh fruit, chocolates, cheese, and wine. Buy a sexy lampshade for the bedroom that induces a romantic vibe. Or just take a bubble bath together. Reinforce your steamy night by writing your spouse a note the following day saying, "Last night was the best three hours we've spent together since the honeymoon."
3. Be Spontaneous
Post little love notes all over the place where they'll least expect it (in his sock drawer, in her makeup bag); graze his thigh under the table at your own dinner party and ask him for help in the kitchen where you'll douse him with kisses; or, excuse yourself from the Sunday night home movie you're watching, pretend to get a glass of water, and come back to your partner completely naked as if nothing has changed.
4. Have Happy Hours for Two
Commit to doing stuff together outside the bedroom and before 11 p.m. on a daily basis. If you two are always pulling out your BlackBerrys and checking your schedules against one another, consider making a weekly date night: Tuesdays, for example. Every week, that night is for you two and nothing else. And you'll get bonus points for the little things too: going to bed at the same time; slow dancing...naked; taking a yoga class together; or simply indulging in a session of long, passionate kissing.
5. Position Yourself
How can you be bored with sex when there are 600 positions in the Kama Sutra to test out? That's nearly three new positions every week for the first four years of your marriage! Pick up a copy and have fun with it. You don't have to twist yourself into a pretzel every night, but it's important that your sexual energy doesn't go flat. So switch it up and let go of your inhibitions. One night a week, take turns closing your eyes and pointing to a page. Practice makes perfect!
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-- Jennifer L. Smith
Jan 18, 2010
See More: Sex Q&A