alot of time me and my husband do not want sex at the same time and we let it go. i'm sure we're having much less sex than other newly wed couples out there. thing is, when we do have the chance to have sex, it's that much more passionate. and i still carry a secret little smile with me remembering the naughty things we've done. i agree with MikenDeanna, i feel that people do focus on sex too much. the advice of this page... telling couples that if they do not have enough quality time to spend together, they should squander what they do have on sex... seems a bit much. i think i would rather cuddle with my hubbie and enjoy his company and warmth with the little time that i do have with him.

Lets be honest... Men don't want to cuddle! Trust me, doing interesting things together to "connect" is not the top of a man's list. Ladies, we know this... One of the number one marriage killers, especially from a man's point of view, is a lack of sex or love making... Don't get me wrong there are some men that are never satisfied but they are not the rule. Now that I have accepted this fact, although hard at times, I am trying to do all I can to keep my hubby's attention and keep him satisfied... Some of you may not like this but when our husbands are satisfied and happy there will be no limit to how tremendously happy and satisfied we will be.

momtobe30 I am sad for you, my husband loves to cuddle. It is one of our favorite things to do. I agree with most of you ladies that sex is focused on way too much. I love alone time with my husband, we curl up together and watch a movie. Now that we have a little one out alone time is even more precious. While sex is still great for us, there are lots of other things we can to together to get quality time in. I love candle light dinners with wine and great music. Sometimes those activities can really put you in the mood and can lead to time under the sheets. :)

I have been married for four years and within this timeframe, I have been greatly deprived of sex. I have had thoughts of cheating but do not dare to go there. I have been turned down from making love to my wife in every way possible. It's been from "I'm tired", "Good nite," "Got homework," "Got get up and get ready", and ultimate excuse of "Later." Only to be lead on by a false promise of in the morning." What must I do? Please Help!?

Miniro2003 - maybe she is not communicating that there is something she needs? My FI and I were in a slump and finally talked about what we needed (more touching for me, more understanding about exercise for him) and things have been a lot smoother since. Otherwise, it may be time to work with a marriage councilor.

Well I disagree with all the posts, I require and want the same amount and kind of sex my husband and I had before marriage and unfortunately he can not keep up with me. This has stressed both of us out tremendously because nothing in our lives has changed except for having a son, yet we can't manage to be on the same sex page at the same time. It very frustrating to go from nearly daily having a make out session to monthly and although I have voiced my concerns we have yet to make things work. On this issue I'm just like a man, if you can't, won't or don't please me at home, sooner or later I'll have to go out and get it.

My DH and I are newlyweds of 2.5 months..We are getting used to living together, as we did not before we got married. We were traditional people. We are usually pretty good with each other, but because we have two COMPLETELY different drives, we can go a week at a time without it. And in case you are wondering, we are still in our twenties. I'm almost 26, and he will be 30 in June. He has something "wrong" with "the boys" that keeps him from wanting "it" often. If it were up to him, We would be nuns. Yeah. It sucks. I'm just the opposite, My drive is crazy, where I could go every night, and it's so frustrating. Sometimes I lay awake at night and listen to him sleep thinking how much nicer it would be if he would pay attention to me in the bedroom a little more often. Usually when we have time for each other, I have to be the initiator of it.

reading everyones comments on this is sucks. not very encouraging for people who are in a rut...

I'm so that person above...I want to have sex but by the time I'm done work, gone to the gym, and have eaten dinner, sex is the last thing on my mind. I'm just too tired! But now that babies are on the brain I make sure there is time for sex and we are actually have fun with it!

I think this is really common, and I don't agree that men are sex-starved aliens compared to women! My hubby and I had a lot of stress and prep and all that before the wedding, then traveling, then trying to catch up with work and life. Newlywed rut. In the meantime, it seems we were often too tired to put the effort into hot and steamy and fell back on comfy and cuddly. I think that these cycles are natural in relationships... the important thing is not to let it stay there for too long! :)

I agree with MinkenDeanna and also Delusionary, It shouldn't be all about sex. We are extremely busy newly weds and I do think our other newly wed friends are having more sex than we are, but we don't care, because we choose not to have it every single day. We have wonderful sex every time we do. We also love our date nights and sometimes that doesn't include sex, it includes spending time with each other. So long story short, marriage is about the two people who love each other thru thick and thin times, unconditionally. I have found that God being the head of our marriage has also blessed us aswell, It is a wonderful thing. We find when we don't do it every single day, when we do, it is even that more pleasurable, for the two of us, not just one. In marriage sex should NEVER be boring, it is a give and take pleasurable dance between the two people. Finally let's all focus on Love and the sex will work itself out as long as the couple love to give unselfish sex!

MikenDeanna/Delusionary I feel for your husbands. I'm the deprived partner in mine and I have to say...push past it, get over it...JUST DO IT. If not, it'll probably cause an emotional issue that will create a bigger rift. Trust me.

Those of you getting it once a week should be happy. Sometimes I go 3 weeks. When we met I was a sex addict, but he told me he wanted to be the one chasing...that me being so available was ruining his "hunter" libido. So, I tried to be unavailable and it would be like 2 weeks and he'd be like so you want to fool around? If I have to wait 2 weeks then why are you asking me? What happened to wearing that collogne I like and maybe taking me on a date or just kissing me for awhile. By the time we get around to it, I am just annoyed. I feel that we do it because it is something we know we should do. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, but I miss passion. We have discussed our feelings with eachother, but I don't think it has really helped anything. He sometimes feels hurt that I tell him he is not putting in enough effort and then doeasn't want to do anything at all....I have been married 10 months and am in a rut.

sex is always a tough issuse in our relationship. Sometimes when its around the time my peroid is coming, im just not turned on and he thinks that i dont want to have sex with him. We used to have sex all the time but he just needs to know that i'm not always turned on. We once had this problem before and he bought me an erotic toy from www.anniversarytoycenter.com and that worked for a little bit. Maybe its a problem i am having to get aroused but i wished my husband knew that it wasnt always about sex.

I'm not sure if this is normal or not.. but my husband and I have sex maybe once a week if we aren't too tired. But my husband likes to watch porn.. together.. It kind of bothers me, but when I talk to him he gets very defensive and says it makes him feel closer to me.. Am I just overacting or should I be upset that he would rather watch porn than have sex with me?

Him sitting with me on the couch and listening to me go on about that cute puppy i saw, that bitchy boss of mine, that amazing deal on shoes (etc, etc, etc) means so much to me. But he couldn't care less! I'm not saying it's exactly the same way with sex, but I am saying that if you expect him to be there to listen to you when you just want to vent/express your emotion through the art of language, make sure you're ready to reciprocate! If you are in a position where you can tell him no all the time, understand that's giving him the same right to say no when you wanna share some office gossip.

this is such a good thing to know "Studies show that lovemaking boosts levels of brain chemicals that trigger desire. So the more you push past your tiredness and get busy, the more you’ll want to do it. You can start by trading five-minute massages (no, you aren’t too tired). Conjure up an erotic scenario -- research shows women who fantasize often have more frequent and satisfying sex"..I actually learned so much from the comments here... background check