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Sex Q&A: Dog in the room during sex?

The Nest Q&A

I get mad because he wants to let the dog stay in the room during sex. He minds his own business, but still! What can I do?

There’s a difference between him being okay that the dog is in the room during sex and actually wanting the dog to be in the room during sex. I’m assuming he’s just cool with it, right? I mean, he doesn’t actually go and get the dog and bring him or her into the room when you have sex...because that’s a whole separate issue.

If you two start having sex and you want the dog out but he says, "Oh, let him stay, it’s no big deal" -- but it is a big deal to you -- then speak up. Tell him that it's too distracting for you to have the dog in the room and it makes it more difficult to orgasm. That, by the way, is backed up by science!

Women -- more so than men -- are prone to what we call "cognitive distractions" during sex. That’s a fancy, scientific way of saying that women are more likely to think about the laundry, a work presentation, a family issue, paying bills, or whether the stove is off when they should be thinking about how your two bodies fit together and how good he smells and all that yummy stuff. A dog in the room does not help the situation.

Most men want to please their partners. They want them to like sex, to want sex and -- yes -- to enjoy or even orgasm from some type of sex. So if you say, as odd as it might sound, that the dog gets in the way of your pleasure and orgasm potential, my guess is that Fido will soon learn to chew his rawhide on the other side of the bedroom door.

Nestpert: Debby Herbenick, PhD, is a research scientist at Indiana University, a sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, and author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman's Guide to Sexual Pleasure & Satisfaction. She blogs at

-- Debby Herbenick

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