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How to Get What You Really Want in Bed

We get it: Talking to your partner about what you like -- and don’t like -- in the sack isn’t always easy. You obviously don’t want to hurt your partner’s feelings, and some of us might even be embarrassed to admit what we’d really like in bed. But don’t let your fear stand in the way of a mind-blowing sex life. Here are a few tricks for getting what you want when it comes to getting off…

Lead with a compliment
You won’t wound your partner’s pride if you start by saying how amazing he is in bed and how much you love it when he does such-and-such to you. So begin by pointing out something your partner does well that makes you feel good, then casually transition into a suggestion about what could be better, just like so: “I love it when you do [blablabla]. You know what would be even hotter? If you did [blablabla].” It’ll come off as an attempt to amp things up -- not as an attack on your partner’s love-making skills.

Blame it on a magazine
If you’re too embarrassed about your fantasy to come out and say it, don’t be afraid to pretend like you got the idea from somewhere else. Say you just read an article about a position one couple tried that was a-m-a-z-i-n-g, and thought if it was really that out-of-this world, then maybe you guys should try it too.

Show, don’t tell
If you’re just too shy to talk about your sexual desires openly, no problem. You don’t ever have to say a word to get what you want. Just show him what you’d like him to do while you’re getting busy. Trust us, your partner will probably be even more turned on. You want your mate to pay more attention to a certain sweet spot? Move his hand or mouth there. You want her to try a new position? Take charge and initiate the move yourself. He thinks your G-spot is a few inches too far to the left? Grab his hand and guide him to the right spot. Squeals of delight or even just a little heavy breathing will also let your mate know what you really like.

-- Kristin Koch

See More: Love & Sex , Sex Q&A