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How to Give an Earth Shattering Hand-Job

Of all the sex questions you've wondered about, you've probably never thought about the many ways to give the best hand job. We know what you’re thinking: Hand jobs are so ninth grade. We hear ya. Why give one when you could give a way more earth-shattering BJ…or just do it? But hear us out: Believe it or not, while your man will always love a BJ -- or even better, sex -- sometimes a good old-fashioned hand job can be fun too. And sometimes a handy may even be preferred. (Think: Mid-makeout, when you have your period and can’t be bothered to work too hard, or -- its most common use --- mid-BJ when your mouth gets tired.) So now that we got the why out of the way, let’s get right to the how….

Maintain Eye Contact
Try to maintain eye contact throughout -- unless you’re making out. Then we’ll give you permission to close your eyes, so as not to creep your partner out. But unless you’ve got serious skills, chances are that kind of dual action won’t happen for too long -- it’s a little like rubbing your belly while tapping your head. (Kind of a toughie.) Luckily, he loves looking at you during sex anyway (believe it or not, you’re like his porn), so keeping a semi-intense stare while giving him a hand job will turn him on too. For added visual stimulation, think about going topless (if you aren’t already) -- it’ll probably make your job easier.

Lube It Up, Baby
If you’re just going for a straight-up HJ (read: no sex or BJ to follow), you can use any non-scented lotion you may have handy (no pun intended). But if you plan to let your handy work serve as the coming attractions to other action, lube will work (flavored, if you’re going to put your mouth on his penosh afterward). No lube or lotion? No worries. Your own spit will soon become your secret weapon. To do this in a sexy fashion (since hocking a loogie on his man piece will likely deflate the situation), instead of flat-out spitting on your hands, start off by giving him head for 30 seconds or so, just to get the shaft wet (much sexier, right?). Do this slowly and seductively, while surreptitiously releasing a little more spit from your mouth as you move up and down -- this will ensure a smooth HJ, as opposed to a dry, Indian-rug-burn-type one (which is fun for no one).

Get a Good Rhythm Going
All right, now on to the nitty-gritty: Wrap two hands around your partner’s mandingo (yes, we just said mandingo) and slowly, yet rhythmically, twist both hands in opposite directions, as well as up and down. He’ll feel like more than one person is touching his penosh -- which he’ll think is hot (sorry, but it’s true). As he starts to get more into it, you can increase your speed. Just don’t get too insane unless you’ve got a lot of lube (or spit) on there to accommodate your speed and you have a strong arm.

Work Your Wrist
Not sure if you’ve got it right? Remember: It’s all in the wrist, not your hands. It probably sounds weird, but trust us, when you think of it that way, it’ll make the whole experience easier on you and more pleasurable for him.

Be Gentle
Your hands should be sliding, not rubbing. But don’t grip his mandingo (there it is again!) too hard -- you want it to feel good, remember? Don’t worry, chances are he’ll let you know what feels good (and what doesn’t).

Don’t Neglect His Accessories
Ah, the balls: Easy to overlook yet oh-so-important during a handy. Somewhere mid-HJ (with practice, you’ll start to sense when the right moment comes), take one hand off the shaft and bring it around to the stepchildren. You can gently cup them, move them around in your hands (nice and lightly), and even (gently) stroke your fingers over them. If you’re feeling ambitious, pause the HJ to focus on the family jewels: Either tongue them lightly or just put your mouth (NOT teeth) on them. Always been a little ball shy? Don’t be. As long as you handle with care, with little effort on your part, you can really drive him wild.

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-- The Nest Editors