Follow these four tips for fun, pleasurable, not-at-all-embarrassing phone sex.
Go a Bit Outside Your Comfort Zone
The bonus of phone sex (assuming you’re using the old-fashioned phone-only method -- sans webcam) is actually that your partner can’t see you. Most of us feel more comfortable using dirtier words when we know our partner can’t see us blush. So now’s the time to speak up about your fantasies and tell him all the things you wish he’d do. All that sex speak might get you a little excited, which is a good thing (read: you won’t have to work so hard later in the conversation, if you catch our drift).
Start Sexting
Sexting isn’t just for Tiger Woods. It’s actually a great way to keep the sexual spice alive, especially if you’re too shy to say certain things out loud or you feel silly doing it (“You want me to say what?”). Sending sexy photos during the workday or texting hints about what you want to do when your partner returns from his business trip serves as great foreplay and can help get you both aroused. Not sure what to sext? Let him know that you’re thinking about a night of great sex you shared (maybe on your honeymoon or in a hotel hot tub) or reference something orgasmic he did with his tongue. If you’re not sure what to say, check out the smart phone app, Sexy Texts, which offers ideas, ranging from the romantic to the dirty, dirty.
Get Playful
Whip out your vibrator and let your moans and sighs do the talking. Or, if you’re not sure what to say, ask him to tell you a sexy story, which keeps the focus on him while you pleasure yourself. But if neither of you is very vocal, whip out your laptops and log on to a site like XTube, and watch a sexy video together.
Try Video Chat
Phone sex doesn’t have to be just “phone sex” anymore thanks to webcams and Skype. If talking on the phone just isn’t doing the trick or you’re living in separate cities right now, get with the times and upgrade to video sex. Use your webcams on your next phone date. Then dress sexy, do a strip tease or even masturbate together. Come on, live a little!
Nestpert: Debby Herbenick, PhD, MPH, is a research scientist and associate director at The Center for Sexual Health Promotion and author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction.
-- The Nest Editors
Dec 10, 2010
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