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How to Have Phone Sex

Whether you’re doing the long-distance thing or just looking to keep things spicy when you’re apart, we’ll tell you how to dial up the dirty talk.

Follow these four tips for fun, pleasurable, not-at-all-embarrassing phone sex.

Go a Bit Outside Your Comfort Zone

The bonus of phone sex (assuming you’re using the old-fashioned phone-only method) is actually that your partner can’t see you. Most of us feel more comfortable using dirtier words when we know our partner can’t see us blush. So now’s the time to speak up about your fantasies. Tell him all the things you wish he’d do--and ask him what he wishes you'd do in bed. All that sex speak might get you a little excited, which is a good thing (read: you won’t have to work so hard later in the conversation, if you catch our drift).

Start Sexting

Sexting isn’t just for Tiger Woods. It’s actually a great way to keep the sexual spice alive, especially if you’re too shy to say certain things out loud or you feel silly doing it (“You want me to say what?”). Sending sexy photos during the workday or texting hints about what you want to do when your partner returns from his business trip serves as great foreplay and can help get you both aroused. Not sure what to sext? Let him know that you’re thinking about a night of great sex you shared (maybe on your honeymoon or in a hotel hot tub) or reference something orgasmic he did with his tongue. If you’re not sure what to say, check out the smart phone app, Sexy Texts, which offers ideas, ranging from the romantic to the dirty, dirty.

Get Playful

Whip out your vibrator and let your moans and sighs do the talking. Or, if you’re not sure what to say, ask him to tell you a sexy story, which keeps the focus on him while you pleasure yourself. But if neither of you is very vocal, whip out your laptops and log on to a site like XTube, and watch a sexy video together.

Try Video Chat

If talking on the phone just isn’t doing the trick or you’re living in separate cities right now, try out some video sex via Face Time on your iPhone or even Skype. Dress sexy, do a strip tease or even masturbate together. Come on, live a little!

Nestpert: Debby Herbenick, PhD, MPH, is a research scientist and associate director at The Center for Sexual Health Promotion and author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction.

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-- The Nest Editors

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