Though most couples are open about how much sex they do or do not want to have, when it comes to talking about ...er, quality control problems that's when the road gets rocky. Here are a few rules of thumb to help make the tough task more doable.
1. As much as is humanly possible, try to frame everything you are saying in the positive. That means talking about what you want and what you'd love to see happen rather than what's not happening and what you don't like.
2. When necessary be very, very graphic. There are words that aren't for publication that are perfectly fine to use if they help you get your meaning across. The worst thing to do is be vague and use too many euphemisms.
3. Put it out there. Don't hold back or talk about it the way you would to children.
4. Don't underestimate your partner's ability to take it. Sure, it might be awkward but it won't kill either of you.
Nestpert: Jeff Palitz MFT, is a marriage and family therapist practicing in the San Diego area EastLakeCounseling.com.
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