Q.
I feel self-conscious about giving oral sex. advice for me that might help me to enjoy it more?
A.
News flash: You probably aren't bad at it...you just need more practice. Here are some tips to get you feeling more comfortable with going "downtown": Shower together in a sensual way, slowly soap each other down, and start to caress each other. Then towel yourselves dry to get ready for foreplay. Smear something tasty like chocolate sauce or whipped cream over his package and lick it off gently. This baby step will at least get you more comfortable with his south-of-the-border region.
Part of your squeamishness may come from being afraid to swallow. So don't!. When he's ready to climax, slip a Kleenex in place to catch his semen. He shouldn't be expecting you to swallow when you feel this way. Then kick back so he can giv eyou oral sex in return!
Nestpert Dr. Pam Spurr, author of Make Love All Night & Talk to Him in the Morning and Naughty Tricks and Sexy Tips: A Couple's Guide to Uninhibited Sexual Pleasure
See More: Sex Q&A
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Liv4HIMsinger
mboon... if something happened to you long ago then it is completely understandable that you would feel uncomfortable doing it to your husband. You may even have post traumatic stress disorder from it. I have a friend who suffers from this because of a similar situation. If it is something that you want to try to move past to please your husband then I would suggest seeing a counselor. Therapy is a wonderful thing and could help you process what has happened to you and somewhat put it behind you. I'm sure your husband would be very supportive of you which would be a huge help. I hope this gets better for you! Dealing with sexual abuse is not easy, but healing is very possible.
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nmorera
Get a product called, "Happy Penis" or "Good Head." Or just get flavored condoms so it taste better and when he does climax it doesn't get in your mouth.
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mboon01
My whole thing with oral sex doesn't have anything to do with my husband, or being comfortable with him. It does have everything to do with a past boyfriend a long time ago, and being forced into something I didn't want to do. Now, I can't even go down on my husband because of this. Him and I have talked about this, and he understands the situation, but it still makes me feel like a horrible person, but the whole previous experience was an equally as horrible and terrible an event. Any tips or advice here?
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dramaqueen3
I totally agree with the whole swallowing thing. I have a terrible gag reflex (I gag when I brush my teeth!) so there is no question of me swallowing. He should understand that and be ok with it. If you can find a comfortable way to do it in the shower (him standing, you sitting on the edge of the tub) then you can switch and use your hand when he is about to finish and you don't have to worry about a tissue or washcloth. You have to remember too: having you do that at all will make him happy. And if you're not sure you're doing it right, ask.
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loreleimarsh
My DH and I have been together for over 8 years and for 5.5 of those years I was never able to make him climax with oral sex. My jaw would hurt, my mouth would go dry, etc. You need to find the position that works best for you; you need to be comfortable. I started to enjoy it when I heard him groan and pant, it meant that I was actually getting the job done (no pun intended). Also, don't over-think what you're doing. It will distract you from your goal.