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Sex Q&A: Do I Use Sex to Feel Needed?

Q.

The Nest Q&AI always seem to want sex. I never turn my husband down, and he turns me down pretty often. But now I'm starting to wonder if it has something to do with confidence and not feeling loved enough in general. How can I tell?

A.

This is an excellent question that more people (both men and women) should try and work out! You need to ask yourself a couple of questions:
1. When you ask for sex and have it, do you feel empty afterward and crave more?
2. Do you ask for sex when you feel lonely and just a hug or attention would do?
3. Do you ask for sex when your partner seems too busy or preoccupied with his own life to talk or hang out with you?

Be honest with yourself...do any of these ring true? If you're feeling lonely or in need of a hug, you should tell your partner that and look at ways to feel better about yourself, your relationship, and life in general. If you feel fulfilled and are happy in your relationship, you're less likely to ask for sex just to get close to him. You could try to start a hobby together or just carve out one-on-one time, and this can help bring you overall relationship satisfaction and emotional closeness.

Nestpert Dr. Pam Spurr, author of Make Love All Night & Talk to Him in the Morning and Naughty Tricks and Sexy Tips: A Couple's Guide to Uninhibited Sexual Pleasure

-- The Nest Editors

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