First of all we all estimate which is a bad idea. Get the ruler out and see exactly what size he is. Also, if you don't want to do that measure with your hand and then use the ruler against your hand to estimate. Basically, if a guy is under 5" that is small this is really for girls that think then have a 10" its probably 8" just looks like 10"

jkmcnamara, I have the same condition and use the dilators. They are VERY helpful

I was extremely small... so small I couldn't use tampons. However, the gynecologist suggested dilators. It was frustrating at first because it hurt a lot but the more I kept using the dilators- the bigger I became. I am now able to have sex! Just be patient, it took me about 3 months before I could have sex with my husband.

My husband and I just celebrated our first anniversary, and we were also virgins when we married. My mother's best advise to me was to keep a little bottle of KY jelly. Especially at first, it really helped me since I had trouble relaxing enough on my own to fit my large husband. It was frustrating for me at times, because I wanted to be an instant expert and always find it satisfying. Btw, painful sex is not normal. I got a UTI during our honeymoon from spermicide, and it took me way too long to figure out I needed to see a doctor because I thought it would just hurt sometimes. Like the other women said, it doesn't always get better with practice. You may need to see a doctor who can find the source of the pain.

I have been married for almost a year now, and my husband and I were virgins when we first got married as well. It hurt so much at first, and I didn't like sex as much. I say just keep going, and have tons of foreplay before actual sex. Soon it won't hurt that bad anymore.

It's very possible Jillyandlilly! Don't know the name but you can start in a regular girl on top straddle position, have him open his legs then carefully (especially if you're not very flexible) put one leg behind you and straighten it out then the other leg. Hold yourself up with your arms as you do this, it might help to lower your chest onto his before you put your legs back. Good luck! :)

fradycat19- I would suggest using a lot of lubricant and forplay. Talk to your husband about what feels good and what doesn't during the forplay. Perhaps if he helped you reach orgasm before intercourse it might be easier for you to relax when he tries to come inside you.It's important that you talk to him about making you feel good. A lot of what you are going through is probably more mental than physical. Just relax and take you time. Good luck