Q.
My husband and I used to have sex every day, maybe several times a day. Now I'm lucky if we make love twice a month. Is it normal for sex drives to decrease after the wedding?
A.
This happens to 99 percent of couples. When two people first meet, they're fizzing with sexual chemistry and energy. But after time, a couple would burn out if they kept up this hot sexual pace. Even if both people agree they'd like more sex, most people fall into a sexual routine. And they feel daunted wondering how they can initiate new things. Because, let's face it, once you start doing the same sex position every Saturday night, you get into the mindset that this is all you can come up with.
Then there's comfort. Men in particular tend to find that regular sex at a predictable time is comfortable. The once rampant stud seems to disappear in the comfort of the married relationship. Comfortable sex is great, but when men get too comfortable, they forget that even a small bit of effort will make their wife feel special and desirable again.
So it's time to talk with your husband without making it seem threatening. Approach it from the angle that you'd like to do more of X, Y, or Z, rather than saying that you don't get enough of X, Y, or Z. Next, introduce small changes. If you tend to have sex, say, once every couple of weeks on a Sunday morning, seduce him on a Friday night...with a new position. If you think he's game, experiment with a toy.
Nestpert Dr. Pam Spurr, author of Make Love All Night & Talk to Him in the Morning and Naughty Tricks and Sexy Tips: A Couple's Guide to Uninhibited Sexual Pleasure
See More: Sex Q&A
62835304 
joannavl
Zakbam, like you we are Christians, and waited until we got married . We got married in June and what you are describing is exactly what happened to me. I wanted to want my husband but I simply didn't. After having an honest conversation with him where I told him how I felt and how my body was reacting we decided to talk to a couple in our church that has been married for a very long time and has a very good marriage. It was great to talk to people with more wisdom, and they gavce us some advice. Some of the things they told us were to keep having sex, they asked my husband to come up with romantic ideas and put them to work, they asked for me to do things throughout the day to feel sexy and to let him know I want him. Things are not perfect yet, and I still don't desire him as much as I did before the wedding, but slowly things have gotten much better. If you would like to talk to me more about it, feel free to email me at joluehmann@gmail.com
62764882 
zabkam
I got married in June, only 5 months in, but we had been dating for 5 years. We are both christians and decided to wait till marriage to have sex. They were long hard 5 years waiting. we have been so excited for so long and i feel like i wanted him ALL the time!! After we got married though, i have NO sex drive. i feel completely different. we are deeply in love but it's like my body truned off. i dont know if it's just not as desireable now that we arent longing for what we can't have. I wish i could wake my body up. I climax only during masturbation. i am trying hard to figure this out. any advice?
61594914 
JoniandManny
I totally agree that a while after the wedding, or even cohabiting, the frequency of sex does dwindle. My husband and I have been married for a year and a half and living together for over two, and I have to say that our sex life was sooo much hotter prior to us moving in together. "What gives?", I thought... But it does make sense that you two are now more emotionally invested in each other, spending more time together, more comfortable with each other undoubtedly, and so, with all those factors and others combined, the lust & longing that was once ever present, just isn't there as much anymore... And you now find yourselves in bed "talking" and "reading a book (?)", instead of, well, having sex. I find though, that just casually and playfully talking to each other about our "needs" does help. Yes, more "talk"!!