Q.
I'm very stressed out, and sometimes when we start having sex, I lose my focus, and I have to stop. What can I do?
A.
You can't treat the symptoms; you have to treat your anxiety problem! Set up an appointment pronto to speak to a healthcare professional. In the meantime, keep an anxiety diary in which you jot down the anxious periods during your day. After a week, you may see a pattern. Perhaps you worry more at bedtime, on waking, or toward the end of your day? Once you've identified your peaks, tackle what causes them. Once you've come to grips with your anxiety, the symptoms of your anxiety -- like your lack of sexual desire -- will start to diminish. In the meantime, play a game where you pretend to be someone completely different without a care in the world. You're allowed to feel that way for one hour only. Give yourself permission to shut out anything you worry about and agree on this plan with your husband. By letting go for that one hour, you may find that you can shut out the anxieties you're working to solve...in bed.
Nestpert Dr. Pam Spurr, author of Make Love All Night & Talk to Him in the Morning and Naughty Tricks and Sexy Tips: A Couple's Guide to Uninhibited Sexual Pleasure
-- The Nest Editors
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