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Sex Q&A: How Can I Get My Spouse to Choose Me Over Masturbation?

Q.

The Nest Q&AMy husband masturbates every day -- often when I'm at home with him! How can I make my husband choose me over masturbation?

A.

First, it's important to realize that his masturbation is probably the habit of a lifetime, so he doesn't see it as a problem but rather as completely natural. Many men use masturbation as much for tension release as for sexual pleasure. That said, you should think about whether this is simply a tension release "exercise" for him, or if he does it for sexual pleasure. If it's the latter, you need to have an honest, tactful, unheated conversation about how this makes you feel. Try to get to the bottom of why he masturbates frequently, and then you can start to move forward. It's important for him to be aware of the effect it's having on you. You can try the approach of asking him how he'd feel if you masturbated daily, then ignored him in bed. The goal is to get him to put himself in your shoes.

Nestpert Dr. Pam Spurr, author of Make Love All Night & Talk to Him in the Morning and Naughty Tricks and Sexy Tips: A Couple's Guide to Uninhibited Sexual Pleasure

-- The Nest Editors

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