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Sex Q&A: Is It Normal for Men Not to Masturbate?

Q.

The Nest Q&AIs it normal for men to not masturbate? The reason I ask is because we've talked about this, and he says he really doesn't do it that often because he's so tired after work. How can I get him to have a higher sex drive or want more sex?

A.

Ignore the word "normal"! What counts is what works for you and him. Maybe he does masturbate a little but feels embarrassed to tell you. But that doesn't really matter. What matters is you're experiencing a symptom of your lifestyle. You clearly realize that it's his long hours at work that tire him out. As long as he continues to have those long days, his sex drive is unlikely to change. So this is an issue more about his job (not his sex drive necessarily) and the inability for you two to work on this.
 
What you need to do is sit down together and look at his work hours to see if you can afford to make any changes. If you can't, then you need to look at your weekends (or whenever he gets days off) and create a special time for you two when he's relaxed. Many couples have to work long hours and either let their sex lives suffer (which some people aren't worried about) or they take extra care with their free time to reconnect. It's really up to the two of you to make this choice.

Nestpert Dr. Pam Spurr, author of Make Love All Night & Talk to Him in the Morning and Naughty Tricks and Sexy Tips: A Couple's Guide to Uninhibited Sexual Pleasure

-- The Nest Editors

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