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Sex Q&A: Should I Worry About His Porn DVDs?

Q.

The Nest Q&AMy husband masturbates to porno DVDs. It makes me feel inadequate, mentally cheated on, and worried about the future. Is my concern unfounded?

A.

Many adults use pornography in ways that don't harm their relationships or themselves. You need to work out if your worries are more about being generally insecure as a person, about the relationship, or whether these feelings come from a basic lack of respect for you on his part.

If you're an insecure person and he's a caring partner, then perhaps this is more about building up your confidence. However, if he dismisses your feelings and doesn't take them seriously, this is more about him being disrespectful. The fact that he doesn't go online or on the phone is a very good sign! Perhaps he just needs to be more discreet about his DVD use. The key is that you share how you're feeling and find a way to talk through this and compromise.

Nestpert Dr. Pam Spurr, author of Make Love All Night & Talk to Him in the Morning and Naughty Tricks and Sexy Tips: A Couple's Guide to Uninhibited Sexual Pleasure

-- The Nest Editors

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