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Relationships

Sex Q&A: Is There Anything I Can Do to Make Oral Sex Less Painful?

Q.

The Nest Q&AMy husband loves oral sex, but it takes him a very long time to orgasm. My jaw starts to get tired! Is there anything I can do to make it less painful for me?

A.

No sexual activity should end up in prolonged pain -- unless of course you're both consenting adults who love S&M! Yes, from time to time we all have to put up with a little bit of discomfort while our partner finishes off, but definitely not what you're describing. Most people have heard of "mouth cramp," so explain this phenomenon to him if he hasn't. Unless he's a selfish bully, he'll understand if you say that you'd like to use your hand for a while and give your mouth a rest. Oral sex can be all the more exciting by varying the stimulation.

Nestpert Dr. Pam Spurr, author of Make Love All Night & Talk to Him in the Morning and Naughty Tricks and Sexy Tips: A Couple's Guide to Uninhibited Sexual Pleasure

-- The Nest Editors

Mar 13, 2009

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men also get jaw cramps when they perform oral sex on women. the sacrifices we all make... try to change your position, or take a brake and have sex for a bit, then go back to oral sex before he reaches climax. This will also turn him on more, making it easier to reach climax, therefore giving your jaw a little break!

by joymwinters on Feb 16, 2009

I would advise that you use your mouth and your hand at the same time. This really helps avoid prolonged oral sex. I would also tell you that just using your tongue to caress his penis would help him reach his climax.

by dhat224 on Mar 16, 2009

i found that doing it while he is standing up as opposed to laying down works really well. way less jaw cramps!!! and he seems to like it! but the hand and mouth thing works really really well...

by ashgwilliamson on May 03, 2009

I agree with joymwinters! Oral to penetration to oral seems to be VERY exciting to a man. It shows you're adventurous and is quite stimulating. It also works well when he goes down on you. I little teasing goes a looong way ;-) Also, a testicle massage helps speed thing along while you're giving him oral pleasure. It adds another dimention to it & is slightly unexpected.

by thisishalloween on Aug 22, 2009

I agree with all the other girls. Also you can switch off. Use your mouth then take a break and switch to your hand, but still kiss him or tease him with your tongue. Just keep alternating. Hand and mouth at the same time are also great. And can work quickly.

by shroombomber on Oct 23, 2009

All great advice.You can also not suck the whole time.You can relax your jaw while he his still in your mouth and you are still stroking it. This lets you jaw relax and he is still feeling pleasured.

by BrooklynHeaven on Nov 22, 2009

You may have TMJ and not realize it. I have TMJ and my jaw hurts when I give oral too. Sometimes I can't even do it because it hurts so bad. Maybe take some pain pills about 30 minutes before you plan on giving him head?

by BrunetteBecca on Jun 21, 2010

I have this same problem! So what I normally do is use my hands (which he says he actually prefers), and he gives me a warning signal when he's close, and then I switch to using my mouth. And as another commenter suggested, I've also found that it hurts less when he's standing and I'm kneeling, rather than him lying down and me leaning over him.

by ocdaggie on Jul 12, 2010

TMJ+girth=no dice most days for me and performing oral... It sucks. I enjoy giving it, but I want to cry from the pain at times. I also endorse switching it up, or even intercourse to oral, no oral pre-intercourse. I also compromise and manually get him to almost there, and at his cue, finish with my mouth. Guys just like the attention and stimulation, and a good one will work with you if your jaw can't handle it.

by likeadeadstar on Apr 01, 2011

When my jaw gets tired I just start using my hand and play with his boys a little...Gives him something else to get excited about! ;)

by jsurman815 on Aug 05, 2011