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Sex Q&A: My husband can only orgasm from oral sex. What else can we try?

Q.

The Nest Q&AMy husband is only able to orgasm during oral sex. He tries and wants to climax while inside of me, but he hasn’t yet. Is something we can try for him to achieve an orgasm without oral stimulation?

A.

Does he have any concern about you getting pregnant? Some men who are worried about pregnancy end up subconsciously stopping themselves from ejaculating during penetration. This reassures them that pregnancy won’t take place -- but actually you can get pregnant through any penetration, as a man produces seminal fluid even when excited. If you two haven’t discussed this, then it’s time that you do so in a loving and caring way, rather than finger-pointing.

Another issue some men have is a worry over deeper emotional intimacy, and for them ejaculating during penetration symbolizes this. When you’re both feeling relaxed, try gently raising these various ideas with him. Then again, he may just love the sensation of oral sex over penetrative sex. Try to bring him to the brink with oral sex, and then have him "finish off" inside of you so he can slowly make the transition. Still not working? You may want to see a sex therapist together.

Nestpert
Dr. Pam Spurr, author of Make Love All Night & Talk to Him in the Morning and Naughty Tricks and Sexy Tips: A Couple's Guide to Uninhibited Sexual Pleasure

-- The Nest Editors

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