Q.
I'm only able to orgasm when I masturbate. I've been faking orgasms with my guy for four years now, and I can't tell him the truth. What else can I do?
A.
It's time to stop faking. Many women feel exactly as you do and can't orgasm through intercourse -- so don't be ashamed of it. If you can't face him honestly with this, then tell him you've "been stressed recently and are finding it hard to get aroused." See if he's up for trying a new form of stimulation.
It's important in a committed relationship that you can bring up issues like this. This tactic can start real communication and help you turn a corner in your relationship. Rather than say what he's doing wrong, guide him into recreating the feeling you get through masturbation. Take it slowly and hopefully you can spark those sensations with him. Keep in mind that there are various vibrators with a flattened shape that work well for women who enjoy manual pleasure. Get him in on the action and you won't feel like you're faking anymore.
Nestpert Dr. Pam Spurr, author of Make Love All Night & Talk to Him in the Morning and Naughty Tricks and Sexy Tips: A Couple's Guide to Uninhibited Sexual Pleasure
-- The Nest Editors
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