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Sex Q&A: He's Too Big...What Do I Do?

Q.

The Nest Q&AIs there any way, besides having children, to stretch out your vagina? Whenever my husband and I have sex, it always takes so long for him to penetrate me. It's like my first time every time -- and not in a good way. Can I fix this?

A.

Many women mistakenly wish they had your problem. They think they're too loose and wish they were tighter. Unfortunately, you're experiencing something that quite a few women do, and they often feel unable -- or too embarrassed -- to speak about it.

First, it's important to consider whether this is related to nerves and anxiety or an actual physical tightness. Many women tighten up their vaginal muscles when they're anxious about sex. Once you can mentally relax, your muscles will relax too. Another tip: Take lovemaking back to the foreplay stage. Introduce some deep breathing and muscle relaxation as you caress each other and build trust slowly. Don’t rush to penetrative sex -- you can always use manual or oral stimulation to mutually orgasm. Once you're ready, using lubricant will help.

If you still believe it's a physical issue, then it's best to consult your doctor. We are all constructed differently. In your case, it might mean you're slightly smaller than the average woman or have tighter muscles.

Nestpert Dr. Pam Spurr, author of Make Love All Night & Talk to Him in the Morning and Naughty Tricks and Sexy Tips: A Couple's Guide to Uninhibited Sexual Pleasure

-- The Nest Editors

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