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Sex Q&A: What Could Be the Cause of My Husband's Loss of Erection?


The Nest Q&ARecently, my husband hasn't been able to maintain his erection. What could be the cause?


One in 10 men experience some type of erectile dysfunction (E.D.) at some point in their lives, and that ratio rises quite a bit once they hit 40. It's usually only temporary, but it can rock both of your confidence levels!

Sometimes E.D. happens after a heavy drinking binge or even drug taking -- that includes prescriptions -- or a medical condition such as diabetes. But in one out of two cases in younger men, this sort of dysfunction often has an emotional root. How can you tell the difference? Consider these questions: Has he been under a lot of work stress? Are you closing on a house and essentially shelling out every penny you have? Does he feel competitive with friends who seem to have more than you two do? Are his parents giving him grief over not having grandkids? All these emotionally taxing scenarios can knock his woody.

A more scientific way to tell if it's all in his other head: If he can get and maintain an erection during masturbation or if he wakes with a morning erection, then it's likely emotional in nature, and it might be time to ask him those questions. Sure, this is a horrible conversation to have, but it's better that the two of you discuss it. Sometimes relating yourself to a similar issue will at least get him to acknowledge that there's a problem. Let him know that when you're overwhelmed at work, you find your libido tanking. Or just remind him how stressed you were during the wedding planning. Then follow up by asking him if there's anything you can do to make him feel more at ease. Obviously, you don't want to add more stress, but showing what a supportive and loving wife you are will go a long way.

Nestpert: Dr. Pam Spurr, author of Make Love All Night & Talk to Him in the Morning and Naughty Tricks and Sexy Tips: A Couple's Guide to Uninhibited Sexual Pleasure

-- The Nest Editors

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