My name is Napoleon, but my people usually call me “little man.” You could see why that might give me a “complex.”

I have a confession to make.

Spotted: bag of cookies, sitting on the edge of a shelf in my kitchen yesterday, just where I could get a fat whiff. My person was in the shower. And the cookies smelled so good; I got a nose-full when they were baking in the oven. So I know I wasn’t supposed to, but I just gave the bag a tiny nudge…and what do you know! It fell right off the shelf. And then I gave it an expert rip on the corner. Out came two chewy, soft, jumbo-sized cookies FILLED with chocolate. Too easy. You know where those went.

Next thing I know, I’m on my back sweating like a hooker in church, squirming in circles. Big Man is jamming open my jaw, thinking he can slip me a dose of some nasty stuff called hydrogen peroxide.*

Resistance!!

I sprinted around the kitchen (Manic-like! The energy! No wonder you people eat those things), and he fumbled after me. He finally snagged my back legs and flipped me over and forced a giant gulp of that awful stuff down my throat.

The cookies came right back up. All over the kitchen floor.

Yep, that’s right. My own artful contribution to home decor. I am victorious, as I watched my person on his knees, cleaning up after me. And just for that, I’d do it all over again.

*Chocolate is poisonous to dogs. After extensive googling and calling dozens of closed vet clinics late on Friday night, Napoleon’s people found out that in cases of accidental doggie ingestion, owners should induce vomiting with hydrogen peroxide.

Your pet got a confession to make? Send the details with photo and your Nestie username to pets@thenest.com to come clean in an upcoming confessional.

-- Colleen Canney

See More: Cutest Pets , Pet Confessionals , Pet Confessions , Pets